pachanga

What do you know about open enemies?
spot them a mile away,
Doing the walk of hate,
Smirking with aim,
Easy Target

Masquerade
Intentional strategy
Drag you to the dance floor
Say they love you
Make a toast for you
Spilling destruction
Champagne

Guess their blue print
Beyond their pearly whites
Past memory lane
Cutting school days
Sleepovers
And 8th grade

on my home base
World war two
Germany switched up on Russia
And I’m not going back to that day
I rather play with the USA

15 degrees F ..revision

call open

the jaws of frost

these beautiful

white ancient skates

Gliding on

What you expect


Open the ice rink

Feel the warmth

Of my hand

No gloves needed

Temporary exposure

Drawing gracefully

Dancing in midst of 15 degrees Fahrenheit

lesson learned revision

I’m learning,
Taking it step by step,
I’ll take a while,
So when you’re passing by,
I’d learn to accept your smile,
It’s given

Guess I’m leaving,
Cause you’ve found me a place,
And I’ll stay,
I‘m bound to give in to your gaze,
Especially on my darkest days,
Listening to the wisdom of my heart,
Taking it beat by beat,

You’re reaching,
Further in,
inch by inch,
You shouldn’t stay,
My silly thoughts decide,
But I’m willing to give in to a trial,

In a battle of ,
Remodeling,
The ways of thinking,
And the words to say,

I’d always loose the words I’d like to say,
I’ve never felt enough heart break,
To teach myself a lesson,
So I tried to hide,
For my own sake,

Instead I ended up,
Calling you my home,
Discovering myself,
By your deep set of eyes,
you didn’t even have to beg me,
To stay,

not clever

call open,

the jaws of frost,

these beautiful cold,

sharp feathers on,

the wings of winter,

sticking to my window,

like those of the not clever,

summertime birds,

snap clashing against,

the shiny hard air in between,

us

...

Learning?

I’m learning
But it’s taking step by step
I’ll take a while
So when you’re passing by
I’d learn to accept your smile
It’s given

Guess I’m leaving
Cause you’ve found me a place
And I’ll stay
I’ve given into being another prey
Another heart cage
Another loose page

You’re reaching
Further in, inch by inch
I can’t act guile
My silly thoughts decide
But I’m willing to give in a trial

I’m heaving
To keep even
My time running against your race
And the words to say

I’d always loose the words I’d like to say
I’ve never felt enough heart break
To teach myself a lesson.
So I tried to hide
For my own sake
I’m leaving prints of a false impression
I just don’t know how to go.

revision

I see myself every step of the way,
The red key,
My pink nails turning the red key,
Struggling to open the front door,

Lawnmowers cutting the dead grass,
Oh what a headache,
It’s trying to make it worse,
The grass even seems to have more class,

My eye shadow is faded,
My deep black mascara has fallen,
Under my eyes,
Jack Daniels scent is in the air,

I wonder how I look,
Coming towards my building at 9 am,
When my neighbors,
The pretty Spanish ones,
Are taking their twins for a walk,
Or visiting a holy place

I’m not guilty,
Yet I look,
Undone, like I said my makeup is pretty much gone,
Black high heeled boots,
At 9 am

Black coffee,
Daily Times,
Pair of sunglasses,
You could’ve been my savior,
Too late,

The party’s over,
The sun is up,
Stares should fade,
They are not the authority,
I am the judge of my life.

9 AM

I see myself every step of the way ,
The red key ,
My pink nails turning the red key,
Struggling to open the front door,

Lawnmowers cutting the dead grass,
Oh what a headache,
It’s trying to make it worse,
The grass even seems to have more class,

My eye shadow is faded,
My deep black mascara has transitioned,
Under my eyes,
Jack Daniels is my fragrance,
Everyone must shut their innocent eyes,
On me,

I wonder how I look,
Coming towards my building at 9 am,
When my neighbors,
The pretty Spanish ones ,
Are taking their twins for a walk,
Or visiting a holy place

I’m not guilty,
Yet I look,
Undone, like I said my make up is pretty much gone,
Black high heeled boots,
At 9 am

Black coffee,
Daily Times,
Pair of sunglasses,
You could’ve been my savior,
Too late,
I was at a party last night
Don’t judge me.

Revision cheaa

I’m rushing now,
Throwing on a white coat,
A dissecting utensil in my hand,
Careful don’t drop it,
Steady and cut open,

Writing my name in cursive,
That’s what needs to be in hand,
Sharp and smooth,
Black Ballpoint,

Out of shape frog,
So green and yellow,
Until the touch of the utensil,
Cut open and the heart is ,
Deep brown,

Mine doesn’t feel right either,
We’re twins,
Except I’m alive

I Left the silent room
With my green goggles,
My rubber gloves,
Left my wallet,
Dirty utensil,

Ballpoint pen,
Time to dust you off,
I’m still beating,
Oh yes I am

3 years ago

I wanted to be a journalist,
I wanted to write for cosmopolitan,
I had food on my table,
No one ever cooked for me,
at least I had money to buy it,
I went out every weekend,
Ice- skating, movies and parties,

I wasn't spoiled,
I worked and went to school,
Had time for any boy I wanted,

Studing for a nurse,
my family needs to survive,
I'm a wanted chameleon,
staying home on weekends,
studying my life away,
When friends call me it breaks me,
I have to turn them down,
Have no money on me,
no time for work either,
studying biology,
and since when did food become a luxury?
oh and guys? Forget them.

How can a social butterfly turn into a cacoon?
How can my nails turn from red to black?
Why do I have to cut my hair short?

Maybe that's all a part of growing up,
Sacrificing it all to move forward,
all for a future,
But what about living in the present?
Why am I not smelling the flowers?
But dissecting them in lab?

being a hearbreaker ( revised a bit)

Being a Heartbreaker

I pushed my door open,
just like I always-
pushed the best ones away,
and I was laughing at myself,
Made myself the joke,

Once I fell in love,
Once he got close,
I treated him no different,

He was captured by the highs

He was about to see the lows,

It rained on his parade,

And I just left him there,

I just kept playing,
with any live soul I chose,

When he made me laugh,

When I knew ,

I was about to crack a smile,

I was gone with the wind,

I always wanted to beat them at their game,
I always did,
Even when love called me,
I didn’t want to lose,

Today I decided to play fair,

I leave my heart open,

For real heartbreak,

Not just his

being a heart breaker
how simple it was,
yet, not at all

You end up getting beat at your own game,

And not know it at all

( I don't like this revision, I didn't want to revise this poem at all lol )

Being A Heartbreaker

I pushed my door open,
just like I always-
pushed the best ones away,
and I was laughing at myself,
Made myself the joke,

Once I fell in love,
Once he got close,
I treated him no different,
I made him tear,
I even laughed at him

So I shut my eye,
on any vulnerability,
and just kept playing,
with any live soul I chose,

I always wanted to beat them at their game,
I always did,
I looked at it like a sport,
Even when love called me,
Pride always took over,

I got respect,
because I was a girl,
I never gave it to the men,

I decided to leave,
so I shut that door,
and opened a new one,
this time I played for us,
or I didn't play at all,

-being a hear breaker
how simple ,
yet, not at all

If I Snap

If i snap
just know my influence,
no, not on some drug stuff,
the people around me,
ill knock out any three,
because my temperature's hot,
i got my breakfast cold,
i got to get my nails done,
but my paycheck ain't come,
feels like everything's being held from me,
pulling my strings,
but I'm not attached to no one or anything,
so what kind of lesson is life trying to teach me?
I done been through mud,
now it be feeling like quicksand,
and I'm impatient,
how long am I supposed to dodge for?
If I fight back its gonna be a wrap,
I ain't ready for no prison cell,
no matter how much I hate my home,
I rather have no heat and keep my queen bed,
so many times I wanna split,
but I just like living in the moment ,
what I love more is moving forward,
with you or without you,
and it's like man why you scheming for?
if you cant obtain me,
that's not my problem,
it's yours, fix yourself,
then come see me,
on a second thought,
Don't!
find someone who'll keep you close,
cause I'm as cold as the morgue,
though my heart is always up to the beat,
especially when he gets me a sweet treat,
and you can't defeat me,
well,
you can always try

Never too far ...

The birds are migrating east,
never too far from their nest,

My flight is delayed,
Oh, how i want to be in the sunshine state!

The satellites receptive of the storm,
the thunder struck, and the winds howled

I'm stuck in a worried airport,
my mind is trailing off,

Finally i am on the plane,
Only 5000 miles away